shower
- this entry was supposed to write on 24th of september
I was supposed to meet cal to celebrate his early birthday as he will not be able to book out during his actual birthday. But i cancelled our meeting because i wish to spend more time with her.
She is having an english teaching lesson for those japanese students. She got to choose either thursday or friday. I did told her i will be meeting cal on thursday, probably she forgotten and choose friday and wanted to spend time with me on thursday. I was telling myself, oh gosh, what must i do ?
Initially we were supposed to meet in the morning for breakfast then meeting cal at 5pm at suntec, but she overslept. We met at 12 plus instead, so we only got to spend 4 hours together. She will be busy with her school activities from friday until next friday, and i will be going in to tekong ( if the police still havent contact me ) for my NS. I really want to spend more time with her on that day as i will not be able to meet her for a week, and she might need to go back to school on the 5th of oct to continue her MP. On the other hand, i had already meeting cal and we already planned this meeting a long time ago.
In the end i choose love over friendship and brotherhood. I let cal down. I understand his frustration. I felt bad for the whole day. She kept saying i looked frustrated and asked me if i was thinking of something. Yes i am angry of myself. I still rmb i told cal i will balance love and friendship and yet now i am saying one way and doing another way. I am sorry.
Maybe it is true that u gain some and lose some.
14 more days, tekong...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cloudy
i quitted my tcc job on 23rd of sep. I was planning to use this 2 weeks time to exercise and get back my full fitness to prepare for my NS. I will be jogging, swimming and gyming. Hopefully yan feng, my nowadays exercise buddy will have time to join me as i understand he have his project to do.
Also i plan to cycle around singapore. It keeps me fit and also get to know some places in singapore where i havent been to. Anyway now until 7th of oct i have lots of free time ! I woulden't want to rot at home, wasting my time watching tv and browsing internet and slp for the whole day.
My last day of work was a fun one. I had my lunch with a few of my colleagues at tcc. We ordered a few dishes from tcc. Doey sprayed a can of whipped cream on me. While she was busy doing her stuff i stealthfully took a can of whipped cream and sprayed on doey's face, hell yeah ! It was fun and everyone who presented laughed. A few of my colleagues bought a desert for me and placed a candle on top of the cake and sang happy last day for me. I appreciated that. Special thanks to cheng wei, adeline, doey, delvi, regina tay, meng hon, michael and faizal, u guys make my days at tcc enjoyable.
11 more days, tekong...
__________________________________________________________________
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
shower
it has been a long time since i wrote blog entry, kind of not used to it. Tomorrow will be the last second day working at tcc. Well, there are both good times and bad times during my days at tcc. Things started to get better for the past 2 to 3 weeks, probably because these newly arrive staffs are more easy going when it comes to work, compared to the previous batch. Alas, i am leaving soon.
Work was ok today, but i noticed many ppl, came in various groups, using laptops in our outlet today, probably those were students, trying to use this free time to discuss projects. Time past quite slow today while working, maybe there isnt many customers today, or maybe i dun receive her smses as she was busy recently. I understand she had her own things to attend to.
I went jogging with oscar aka the little imp moments ago. We jogged from my house to chai chee then bedok interchange then to 85 market. There i bought sugar cane and black carrot cake. The carrot cake wasnt bad, but still isnt as good as old airport road carrot cake, one of our regular stalls.
As usual, i felt refresh after jogging. It helps me to keep those troubling issues away for awhile.
15 more days, Tekong...
__________________________________________________________________
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Sunny
I am tired of my job. I really hope 23rd of sep will come soon. It did crossed my mind many times for quitting this job earlier. Maybe my sturbboness hold me on. A few days ago, i met yan feng for jogging and also gyming. He told me he once work as a server before, and at a point of time he wish to quit, maybe becos he thought he cant reach his in-charge expectation and could not cope with the stress. However he persisted in the end after being persuaded by his friend. His friend told him if he could not cope with this job then how is he going to survive in this society. Prehaps his experience somehow inspired me abit.
To make you smile is my motto. To see you find your true happiness and letting go the past is my wish. My purpose is not solely trying to win your heart by doing those things but simply because i just wish to see you happy. I hope you can did well for yr school work and improve your AGPA. To see you wearing your graduation gown, beaming with pride will make me proud. JIA YOU, girly ger !
__________________________________________________________________
Thursday, July 9, 2009
shower
12:08am
Ever since i received warning from my ASM, my performance had improved. Nothing much though, just greet guests with a more cheerful tone and put up a smile while facing guests.
Speaking of the warning i mentioned above, it kepts me wonder whether i deserve it. Was it because i received negative feedbacks from regular guest or was it because i was just a victim of the office politics ?
I was watching 溏心风暴之家好月圆 moments ago. I really envied the characters in the drama. They have a responsible, understandable and supportive mum...one family having dinner together, indulging those home cooked food their mum prepare. Compared to mine its a far far cry.
__________________________________________________________________
Sunday, June 21, 2009
sunny
1:34am
I don't feel good while I heard from what she told me, the games she played with her friends and how her male friend touched her in a club. I would be lying if I said I am fine with it. I just smile when she told me. I mean, who am I ? I am in no right to interfere her matter. I am just a friend of her.
I don't understand why she kept asking me to meet yixuan whenever i mentioned about her to her. Yixuan is just an ordinary friend of mine. I wanted to know her better last time. But not now. We just chat in msn nowadays. My feelings towards yixuan was just a crush. Will she feel happy if i really date yixuan ?
__________________________________________________________________
Thursday, June 11, 2009
sunny
1:22am
This year, I celebrated my 21st bday with my best friends, samson and cal, at sushi tei at Tam 1. Well the food was ok. Hope both of them enojoyed the meal. Next 3 of us went to yakun toast for a chat. We chatted about our future plans, our desired degrees we pursuing after our NS, which occupations we are interested..
There is something which bewildered me - how come cal said he cant visualize me as a police officer ? I believe my future lies on me. And it is not up to others to decide. I am not stubborn, but this is my own future that i am talking about. Hopefully I can receive the support from my loved ones. I strongly believe passion is what drives one to success. To cal, i might not be suitable to work as a policeman, for now. Like he said before as i nurture along the way, who knows ?
While writing this blog entry, i must admit i am tired. I detest people who complained about their work to their friends. Since i had choose this job, i must persist until i going for my NS, which is what i decided initially. Well it will be quite dull to do the same task for continuous days. I understand my seniors' frustration, the stress they faced in their work.
Recently heard her told me that her ex bf actually came to school looked for her. He kneel down infront of her, beggin her what she want him to do. He cried, hitting the walls, and nearly fought with anoher friend of her who tried to calm him down. She cried too, after seeing him breaking down.
I was shcoked when i first received her sms that her ex was with her now. It happened on my bday. At that moment i really wanted to rush down to school. But how do i explain to cal and sam ? I felt helpless, didn't know how to help. I was relieved when i heard she left her ex bf and joined with her friends.
My mood can be described by a song sang by simple plan, titled save you. Sometime I wished I could save you, and there is so many things that i want you to know. She asked me why i didn celebrate my 21st bday in a more grand manner. Apart of the financial matter, I don't see any reason, because even though i reached the age of 21st, my life is still as plain as a white paper. I don't feel proud of myself, in any ways.
If i amid my courage and tell her, will I give her sense of security and happiness ? To be true, I don't know. When she shared with me her unhappy past, i just wanted to hug her. But I kept reminding myself my role. Zhao Hong ah Zhao Hong...
__________________________________________________________________
Sunday, May 31, 2009
sunny
11:23pm
A person who is not contented for what he or she has will never find happiness. I tried but i still could not communicate with you, someone who always finds excuses to defend herself. I would started to throw my temper whenever you did something that pissed me off. Fate ties us together, something i cannot change. Your future lies on me. You have my words I will take care of your expenses.
Although i did not harbour much hope, but still, I was disappointed. It is like a dream shattered. All the goals i set earlier need to delay. I kept the letter. For i want to use it as a moltivation. By throwing it away means i cannot accpet the truth and avoiding it instead.
The lack of achievements of myself is the obstacle for me not getting close to you. I felt relieved that you are there when i was feeling down, texted such a long sms to encourage me. Pardon me if I was not in the mood just now. I am really sorry.
__________________________________________________________________
