sunny
1:34am
I don't feel good while I heard from what she told me, the games she played with her friends and how her male friend touched her in a club. I would be lying if I said I am fine with it. I just smile when she told me. I mean, who am I ? I am in no right to interfere her matter. I am just a friend of her.
I don't understand why she kept asking me to meet yixuan whenever i mentioned about her to her. Yixuan is just an ordinary friend of mine. I wanted to know her better last time. But not now. We just chat in msn nowadays. My feelings towards yixuan was just a crush. Will she feel happy if i really date yixuan ?
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Thursday, June 11, 2009
sunny
1:22am
This year, I celebrated my 21st bday with my best friends, samson and cal, at sushi tei at Tam 1. Well the food was ok. Hope both of them enojoyed the meal. Next 3 of us went to yakun toast for a chat. We chatted about our future plans, our desired degrees we pursuing after our NS, which occupations we are interested..
There is something which bewildered me - how come cal said he cant visualize me as a police officer ? I believe my future lies on me. And it is not up to others to decide. I am not stubborn, but this is my own future that i am talking about. Hopefully I can receive the support from my loved ones. I strongly believe passion is what drives one to success. To cal, i might not be suitable to work as a policeman, for now. Like he said before as i nurture along the way, who knows ?
While writing this blog entry, i must admit i am tired. I detest people who complained about their work to their friends. Since i had choose this job, i must persist until i going for my NS, which is what i decided initially. Well it will be quite dull to do the same task for continuous days. I understand my seniors' frustration, the stress they faced in their work.
Recently heard her told me that her ex bf actually came to school looked for her. He kneel down infront of her, beggin her what she want him to do. He cried, hitting the walls, and nearly fought with anoher friend of her who tried to calm him down. She cried too, after seeing him breaking down.
I was shcoked when i first received her sms that her ex was with her now. It happened on my bday. At that moment i really wanted to rush down to school. But how do i explain to cal and sam ? I felt helpless, didn't know how to help. I was relieved when i heard she left her ex bf and joined with her friends.
My mood can be described by a song sang by simple plan, titled save you. Sometime I wished I could save you, and there is so many things that i want you to know. She asked me why i didn celebrate my 21st bday in a more grand manner. Apart of the financial matter, I don't see any reason, because even though i reached the age of 21st, my life is still as plain as a white paper. I don't feel proud of myself, in any ways.
If i amid my courage and tell her, will I give her sense of security and happiness ? To be true, I don't know. When she shared with me her unhappy past, i just wanted to hug her. But I kept reminding myself my role. Zhao Hong ah Zhao Hong...
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