sunny
11:23pm
A person who is not contented for what he or she has will never find happiness. I tried but i still could not communicate with you, someone who always finds excuses to defend herself. I would started to throw my temper whenever you did something that pissed me off. Fate ties us together, something i cannot change. Your future lies on me. You have my words I will take care of your expenses.
Although i did not harbour much hope, but still, I was disappointed. It is like a dream shattered. All the goals i set earlier need to delay. I kept the letter. For i want to use it as a moltivation. By throwing it away means i cannot accpet the truth and avoiding it instead.
The lack of achievements of myself is the obstacle for me not getting close to you. I felt relieved that you are there when i was feeling down, texted such a long sms to encourage me. Pardon me if I was not in the mood just now. I am really sorry.
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Wednesday, May 27, 2009
sunny
11:48pm
My performance at work on today was probably the best i had throughout my working days. I felt my working pace had increased, compared to last time. I meniioned on my previous post, that a few mere of words will never bring me down. Of course this could only be considered only a small achievement. But still i am happy for myself, yet need to remind myself to stand firmly on ground. Maybe because i enjoyed working with Doey as i find her easy to get along, compared to others. However i made two mistake: One was i forgotten to print the order from a customer. Second i forgot to return credit card to a customer as it slipped through my mind when i did various bills at the same time. Apart of this two mistake everything was fine. I am glad when Doey praised me. It just feels great to slience the critics. I kept telling myself the only obstacle is myself. Not the critics from my colleague. Not the customers. Definately not the tuants from the store manager. I am fortunate to have good colleagues who supported me and pointed my mistakes. Hopefully i can maintain my performance and prove a point to myself.
I enjoyed the time we spent together...really..I might looked tired..but definarely not because of you..
Sometimes I really hope the titles expressed how you feel...maybe you are just sharing them with me because you like them..
每次听到你有心事。。我总是感到很无助。。想帮也帮不了。。
是否我们真的相暧昧那首歌所说-超越了友情， 但还不到爱情?
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Wednesday, May 20, 2009
cloudy
1:53am
Just a few words will never bring me down. I'll show them.
It seemed to me you had move on..I'm really glad.
Heard from you that a bunch of interesting friends is there to make you laugh, I'm sure you had recovered from your previous sickness and preparing for the next chapter of your life.
You became stronger...
May true happiness awaits you in the near future..
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Tuesday, May 19, 2009
rainy
12:38am
I hope to give the best to the one I love..but right now, I had nothing. It seemed my life is as plain as a white paper. People who are younger than me are enjoying their fascinating life.
People like me are getting eliminating slowly by this realistic society...if I still do not upgrade myself...
Sometimes i felt sorry for you...
I can only be a listener...
He wanted..but he know he is not good enough to erase the other party..the moments...the good old days...
Just maybe he thought too much...maybe he fall in love easily...he is just a simple guy after all...
Oscar Oscar...hopefully you can live till the day when I can bring u to play with other dogs at any dog's cafe...when I can fetch you to ecp for a jog...when i can buy good food for you...you are one of the friends i love...you are not just a dog to me...You are my friend..
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Sunday, May 17, 2009
drizzel
12:33am
Today I met Cal at tiong bahru for our breakfast. We had the mixed vege rice, which is one of Cal's favourite stall vendor. It was located within walking distance from Tiong bahru's MRT station. The braised pork was awesome. Also the crispy pork chop. They had other nice food but cal only ordered a few so i just follow what he ordered.
After finish eating our mixed vege rice, Cal wanted to try another one of his favourite stall vendor, which sells duck noodle. I was quite full so i didn ordered. Cal said its been a long time since he ate the duck noodle.
Next, we went to coffee bean to slack, since my aunt will only be back at 3. We chatted regarding relationship. We sat down about 1 hour plus then we decided to take a stroll around tiong bahru plaza. Lastly we recap some childhood memories by playing street fighter at the acade. LOL ! Soon Aunt Mary called and i parted with cal and proceeded to Aunt Mary's house.
I was glad to see grandfather and Aunt Mary. It's been a long time since i visited them. I told Aunt Mary regarding my application of police post. She supported me but when i mentioned about CID she strongly objected. She said i will mixed with bad company and it is a dangerous career. How i wish i could persuade her...But right now i am still waiting for the comfirmation letter..hopefully after i got listed i will start to plan from there...on wad part time law degree i will be pursuing and improve my english. Looks like i need to do some researches on CID.
Grandfather cooked dinner for me...i missed his dishes...seriously i prefer his than the mixed vege rice at tiong bahru. Biased ? I admitted I am. Simply because i tasted care and love in grandfather's dishes.
Around 7 I bid farewell to Aunt Mary and grandfather then went to meet Alwyn at bedok interchange. Both of us went for a supper at the wanton mee i regularly visited. I had never see Alwyn since we reached Singapore from Cambodia. I forgtten that he never eats chili ! So the vendor changed it to ketchup. We stayed about 10 then left. Its great to see Alwyn again.
I find it scary..when one's mood is depended on the other's behavior, attitude or actions towards him or her and also their past. It is true that what past is passed. But seeing the moments the other parties once had, one will kept think to himself or herself - Will he or she be living under someone's shadow ? By the time things became complicated, distance will increased and feelings will decended.
Happiness is making or seeing the less fortunate ones, smile. by giving something to them when you still need it, by sacraficing for their's sake.
Happiness is doing acts of charity.
Happiness is when you had led a righteous life.
I believe i found it when i participated in both ocp trips in Cambodia...
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Friday, May 15, 2009
cloudy
12:41am
Today I met Mei Xuan for dinner after work. I told her about the yong tau fu near my secondary school, so was asking her if she would like to try. Also she seemed feeling down the day before. Since she did not any plans after school, I was thinking maybe hanging out chatting with her might make her feel better too.
We met at Tampines Interchange, then took bus number 10. I was afraid the stall will close. Fortunately it was still open.
After finishing our food, we had no other plans. So we just take a walk aimlessly. We chatted along the journey. In the end we decided to walk to parkway.
We went to Giant supermarket as Mei Xuan wanted to buy something. Lastly we went to the pet shop, which is opposite parkway parade to look at puppies. I like the haskey very much. I wish i could own one in the future. Those puppies are very cute. Mei Xuan was delighted. Hopefully she will feel better the next day.
We decided to go home as the time was late, and Mei Xuan had a curfew before half past ten. As she was walking home, I decided to accompany her home, as the time was late and i do not think it is safe for a girl to walk home.
During the journey to her home, we came across a drain. If we had to walk back it will be quite troublesome. So we had no choice but to jump over it. I crossed first, but i noticed she was quite afraid to cross, so i stretched my hand over to assist her crossing the drain. I apologized to her as i really did not mean any harm. Fortunately she accpected. >_<
After sending her home, we parted and i took bus 24 home.
TIme flew past without being noticed. Since pre-ocp preparation in school till now, it had already been three months. I'm really glad to know you. Really..i wish we could stay in contact no matter what happens in the future.
I'm looking forward to tomorrow's football training. It has been a while since i played..
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Wednesday, May 13, 2009
raining
12:58am
nowadays, I had been working almost everyday. Tired i might be, but at least i felt better that i make use of my free time to earn some pocket money.
When things happen, their outcomes have its pros and cons. Take the starting of my working life as an example. I earned money, and met a few new people. I was given a chance to gain more self-confident and express myself better by communicating with customers. At the same time, the time i spent with friends were reduced. Fortunately i managed to meet Cal for a few times, while other of my friends such as Bin Rui, Eddie, Alwyn, Jason, Samson and Wen Hao are seldom met. Those friends i mentioned might be busying with their own works and stuffs too. As time goes by, we will be focusing on our respective jobs. Our friendship might not be as good as in the past.
While writing this entry, I was thinking of chatting with my friends whom i mentioned above, but all of them were offline.
I believe each of every one of us has our own path. Hopefully, sometime later, our respective paths will get crossed and we can find a day to chill, exchanging our recent updates. I'll be looking forward to this day.
Currently, I am eagerly waiting for the reply letter from the SPF. Today a guy from SPF called me, but he only asked when is my enlistment date. My mood was like high up on the sky at one moment, then fall right down in the next min. Funny isnt ?
I strongly believe everyone deserve a second chance. And I believe when that day comes, that will be the turning point of my life.
* Live my life with no regrets.
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Saturday, May 9, 2009
sunny
1:19am
today is my fifth day working at tcc cr...as usual the crowd was large during lunchtime...all of us were busy...well as usual the crowd will start to disperse ard 2 plus...
things were going quite smoothly on work...well unfortunately not that smoothly..probably because a colleague seemed to have a problem with me..i just find she had attitude problem...if she think i'm the type of person that let ppl ride on easily i am afraid she got to think twice...the turning point was on wednesday..our cafe was having a function..so we need to wipe the bar...becoz on that evening a lot of guests will be coming...i did my part and fulfil my task..its not as if i am slacking or doing nth...when one of the senior staff ask her to wipe the top of the bar she look at me and ask me to wipe instead..i admitted i was pissed at that moment..well i told myself..fine i will do it...since i am paid...maybe she noticed my face was kinda black..so while i was finding the cleaning equipment she told me she will do it instead...i mean...what makes her think she had the right to order me around ? shes 21 like me...and moreover shes just a part timer, a student like me...just becos she worked there for 2 years she think she has the right to oommand me ? apart of that incident...i just think she seriously has attitude problem..her expression..she is just being very impatient..i admitted the fact that i am a slow learner..but i am willing to learn ! i just think her doing are unnecessary..it just make things complicated..i mean colleauges shld understand and compromise one another..
its been a long time since i exercise..hmm but transport fare is going to cost me dearly...coz i want to go back my sch's gym...then need to take 2 bus rides..
transport fare is killing me ! i really missed the bus concession days =(
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Tuesday, May 5, 2009
cloudy
2:00am
today was my 2nd day working at tcc cr..it wasnt a gd day as i didn do much..becoz not much customers...i think i only managed to serve 4 tables..throughout 5 hrs...ard 10 plus i went to wash the toilet and compared to the previous time the toilets were much cleaner so didn take me a long time...
fortunately today a senior whomi forgot his name brief me the menu list..enhanced my product knowledge..so today's work was a valuable lesson for me..
i had to settle my own dinner as father didn buy for me -_-" so i thought of buying something ard hrs downstairs but i realised the time is going to 12am..so i changed my mind and ate mac at interchange instead..
becoz of work didn feed and bring oscar for a walk...hope he dun blame me..
had diarrhea for the whole day..went to the washroom for 4 times during work...cursed !!
i am afraid wad i afaird most will come true...becoz i know who i am..and it jus happened too fast...21 years had passed ( almost ) and i am already used to it..i used to envy when i saw it and desperately needed..bnt that was in the past...i mean who hasn't had a past ? i need to understand my role and know where is limit...my actions and the words i said...
i like to walk during the night..while listening to music...just now i was walking from inter to home..i felt comfortable...it helps me to relex and stop thinking those things that bothers me even though for that few minutes...especially while i listen to songs which describe how exactly i felt now..
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Friday, May 1, 2009
cloudy
4:10am
today is my first day working at tcc circular road...initially i thought i would be later because i spent 30 mins finding the outlet !!! in the end it is just beside mac..
fortunately i reached abt 20 mins earlier...i changed into my ironed uniform ( thanks to my mum ) upstairs and went down for briefing...things were going quite smoothly..as i spent 3 days at raffles exchange's outlet, i roughly know wad to do..the only thing i not sure is the location of various items..like the cutleries and plates..where do i get this sort of things...
the whole day was still not very busy...but time seemed to past very fast !!! its like i just msg to my friend then when i look at my watch again its already 12 !!!
oh forgot to mention...today went to meet meixuan shi hui siti hafiq for lunch in sch..as i meeting cal for collecting our graduation gown..i was surprise to see zhen ying samantha alwi as i didn expect them to come..initially i was late..so i ask them to eat first..i was planning to have my lunch alone maybe somewhere ard sch waiting for cal...just then yan feng smsed me so i met him for lunch...when we reach breadboard the rest are still there...so we joined them..until 2 plus where yan feng need to see his mp supervisor...shortly after we all left as i meeting cal...
the renting of graduation is 20 plus...expensive isnt ?
i'm tired..now i need a cup of milo and listening to my favourite songs and have a good slp...this week i dun have any work until next monday...but was wondering what can i do for the past 3 days..
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